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PENNING MY FEELINGS: A SERIES ON QUEER PARENTING

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The author of this series, that will run on Kuchu Times, is a women’s rights activist, feminist and human rights defender She is also a financial advisor, counsellor and co-founder of Rights 4 Her Uganda – a non-profit feminist transformative, advocacy and empowerment organisation for all women and girls in Uganda without discrimination.

IN HER OWN WORDS

I am a woman, a mother and I’m queer. This inspires me to stand up and encourage all girls, women and queer mothers to own their reality and space no matter the challenges. Having experienced external and internal judgement, discrimination, and stigma which has not only affected my mental health but also my children’s well-being, I choose to be an inspiration, counselor, mentor, trainer to youth, queer mothers and all other women in my country and the world. I have been a victim and survivor of different forms of violence; I have faced hate, torture and discrimination from my workplace, friends and colleagues; I even harbored suicidal thoughts at some point, I have been insulted and judged, I have known pain and felt the pain of my children, I know how it feels to keep moving even when you’re left with no energy to move.

Because I have experienced all the above and many more, I know and believe very many queer mothers, women and girls have individual stories to tell. Stories which I believe will touch and change many souls. Stories I believe will be a healer to someone out there. Our strength and sacrifice as women, mothers and queer parents will be celebrated someday. Every queer mother, woman and girl needs be brave enough, stand up and face their fears. Owning our truth will free us from our captivity, reduce the magnitude of mental health issues affecting us and also bond us together.

Self- acceptance is one of the challenges that has kept many silent and robbed us of our happiness.  We have been left in denial and depression. Being a woman or girl comes with many challenges in the different societies we come from especially in Africa. Being a mother also comes with its challenges. Queer motherhood or parenting comes with a lot more challenge and we need to continue holding each other’s hand because it all starts with us recognising that we are women.

They say you can’t give what you don’t have but personally I believe there is and will always be something you can give. It’s just a matter of a sacrifice.

 To start us off, a poem.......

A QUEER MOTHER

“MY heart sobs as I look in the eyes of my dear children.

Innocent and loving as they look.

With Joyful smiling faces as they call out mother…mother…

I Wondering what’s running in their minds.Wondering what answers I will give to some of their questions.

My heart is filled with Pain; Pain that no words can explain.

Years it’s taken to accept who I am.

Courage to stand on my feet

Enough is Enough.

Freedom at last: Joyful I felt.

Oooh…. with lots of burdens it came on my Shoulder.

I am free but not free indeed.

Around me, stands all the hatred.

From my own self: Those I thought are my own

               Those on the other side.

How can I free myself?

 How can I put all this to an end?

When all running through my head; Is to stay strong for my Angels.” - WM