I usually weigh 58kgs, a weight considerably healthy for my height unlike now when I am 62kgs. I monitor my feeding and lifestyle keenly because I am sure I need not get over weight, not with my height ( and oh I am a Biochemist, I must live by example alas my students won’t take me serious)! My body has been acclimatized to the usual routines of the day which are strong enough to knock out the excess cholesterol that may accumulate.
To this routine of stress, my relationship issues have occasionally been an additional pain. Nothing hurts, like when the person you love starts acting comical yet expects you to laugh loudest. It hurts when you want to smile but you can’t, when you want to stay but you find no reason. For a while, I was glued onto a relationship which deprived me of happiness yet breaking away from the commitment I had made was painful too. This agony kept my heart weak but trimmed my weight too. I found choosing between walking away and trying harder, one of the hardest decisions to I’ve ever had to make. I was getting stingy with my smile; not because its cost was being determined by the increasing dollar rate but hey, there existed no reason to stretch my mouth muscles into contraction. Nothing accelerates aging like a bad relationship!
On the 6th of August, as I lamented on my situation, still split into leaving or trying harder, I was stung by a bee! In an African setting, this was a signal whose meaning I needed to interpret with a clear conscience. I held my rosary beads and said a prayer, a ritual I usually perform only when very necessary (don’t judge my pagan style, it’s just an attitude). A wave of strength swept my backbone, I felt strong enough to take my thoughts away from my extinct relationship for an hour, consequently my footsteps followed, finally I found my way from the furnace.
Even then, I was reluctant to admit I was out of a relationship where I was engaged to the most beautiful woman (to my eyes of course), a woman I loved (then of course), and a woman I saw a future with (of course by the calendar of then). I decided to share my pain with one of my crazy friends; all I needed was a moment of laughter, relief and comfort that would give me the strength to come to terms with the reality at hand. Little did I know I was talking to a goddess!
The magic flew from the bee sting, her voice stung my heart over and over again, the pleasure I longed for temporarily lasted longer than I anticipated. I loved the painless sting to my heart and missed it over and over again. The facebook chat went to whatapp and to constant messages and calls to my cell phone. Its true people fall in love in mysterious ways, she and I found love just where we were.
Our bad pasts were too heavy to carry and we celebrated our first meeting by throwing off our towels. Down to the bath tab with lemon fragrance filled gel (my favorite of course) we threw our nakedness. The warm bath energized us to a new freedom chapter where it was not just love but fun and happiness. When women decide to talk, they are just limited by time; for the first time I admitted to calling my fiancée, my ex fiancée (the energy in speaking out). She shared with me the dark secrets of her past relationship and by the 60th minute she was comfortable to call me her new love.
My ears listened to her with lots of patience and my eyes comforted her, my arms opened to her, the new home she had found. I still didn’t think it would last; the crazy friend that she was and the madness she carried, I still doubted, feeling this was just for a moment but even then I was strong, the happiness I had derived was enough to drive me for a life time ( at least I was healed).
Today I write this for you; in memory of our one month’s anniversary not because 30 days are too long a time but even if we parted today (I doubt we have that in plan), I would consider this month the happiest month of my life, even if I found someone better (but who can be better than a goddess?), I would still consider you the woman who created my happiest moments of my life.
Dear princess, I remember the night we first met, I stared into your eyes with a blurred image of you appearing in my mind, my eyes counted the pieces of metal that appear on your face in despair. The more I held my concentration to your eyes, the more I realised the beauty underneath those 19 pieces of metal. Your breath blew off the candle but my eyes could see your brightness. The warm embrace your arms gave me, erased all my past. Your nails (long and painted with rainbow colors) gathered my heart pieces back into shape. You mended my broken heart.
You sang for me, not the songs everyone else has heard but the songs that soothed my heart into a quick healing; you performed a miracle, I believe in your kingdom of love where my mind never forgets to worship you as a goddess. You sang for me a healing song; you healed me.
Princess, you teased my innocence until I lost my ego to you. It was priceless to hold my body back having priced it less for a human that broke its central organ. I owed you all myself. You made me happy: I quivered in happiness.
You screamed my name like I had won the Olympics, my heart melted into happiness; I knew you had fallen in love with my art of the game. You praised my weaknesses and held up high my strengths; you measured my abilities to no limit. I then felt proud. You loved me, you made me feel special.
I love the filter that lies underneath your beauty; I know it will take any one a lot more time to discover the mine. I am proud that you have accepted my poverty into the wealth of your mine (the metals are even friendly).
I love the happiness you have brought into my life but it’s getting my weight out of hand; my heart never knew such pleasures and my body had heard of only pain.