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BISEXUALITY VISIBILITY MONTH: OPENLY LIVING AS A BISEXUAL WOMAN

September being the International Bisexual Visibility month, we talked to individuals that have embraced their sexual attraction to both men and women. In part one of this two-part series, an open bisexual woman who prefers to identify as queer in the acceptance that her sexuality is fluid and ever changing speaks to our reporter about what life is like for her and how she navigates and balances her marital relationship with her attraction to women.

Beatrice (not real name) is a queer mother who has been heavily invested in the human rights arena since 2010. She holds a Bachelor's in Counseling Psychology from Kyambogo University, a post graduate Diploma in Programs Management and a Diploma in Crisis management.

Beatrice who is a married mother says she has been bisexual for as long as she remembers. “Some of my family members and friends respect my sexual orientation although others have cut off ties with me because of the same,” she narrates when asked how her family reacted upon finding out she is bisexual.

The cognitive behavioral changes of being queer became more visible in high school; with all the changes, sexual urges, and the attraction she felt towards the female gender, it became obvious that Beatrice was attracted to both sexes. This was a very conflicting time for her because her behaviour as a tomboy at the time caused a lot suspension and punishments. Being in a single sex school escalated her dilemma as the feelings towards girls only grew stronger. She quickly became the subject of verbal and emotional abuse as well as discrimination.

There was a clear way that she was expected to behave and dress and soon the roles expected of her as a woman started crawling in. She was expected to find a man, have children and take care of the home.  And to the joy of many, Beatrice fell in love with a man, got married and had babies that she completely adores.

While she is happily married, she also still acknowledges her attraction towards women. She has had an open conversation with her husband about her sexuality and while he remains open minded, he will, once in a while, use this against her.

Beatrice confesses that there have been times when she is drawn to a woman but has to remind herself of her commitment to her marriage.

KT: Most people associate bisexuality with personal confusion, what would you say to these people?

Most people have normalized these beliefs which we forget can cause trauma because the person feels judged and unsafe. So, before anything else, let’s put humanity first, let's love and accept each other because all we got is US. For my bisexual sisters and brothers out there, all l can say is it’s ok to be confused. This is a whole journey and we are here to support each other through it all