Drugs, Money, Relationships-How Dating A Drug Addict Almost Ruined My Life.

By Aisha.

I met Dorah on Facebook and we started chatting. We seemed to get along with each other so well then exchanged phone numbers and extended our conversations to WhatsApp and direct calls. She opened up that she had just come out of rehab for drug addiction.
Days went by until she asked me out for a pizza date after which we went for a movie but before we could go in for the movie, she asked me if I could be her girlfriend. I was so excited when I said yes! It was a great night and even though we had to depart from each other, both our hearts were filled with so much joy and content.

She started visiting me at my parent’s home where we could talk about what she was battling with and the different challenges she had faced and we would i always encouraged her to pray and most of the times, we would pray together. I promised to support her during the healing process which I did.

I made a decision to quit drinking so she doesn’t feel bad being the one taking soda or water while others drink alcohol. I attended all her music shows so that we can go back home together in the night. I went out of my way to always ensure that she is safe and secure because each day that passes by, I got more and more attached to her.

Slowly Dora’s behaviour started changing. She could tell me all sorts of lies so I can send her some money and because I loved her I could not look at what she earns, I always thought, if she asked for my help, maybe she really needs it. Soon, communication started declining and I decided to go upcountry to a friend who had invited me on several occasions.

As the week was ending she contacted me still asking for money I then asked her where she was and told her I needed to talk to her. Dorah asked if I can send her money so she can meet me at home, good thing I was in town and requested she meets me we proceed home. She directed me to where she was and I was shocked as she walked towards me because I couldn’t recogniser her, she was filthy, with dirt in her nails. If I didn’t love her I’d have walked away. I composed myself because I needed to help her since her mother had requested that I help her admit her to a mental health institute.

As we prepared to go to bed that evening, I asked if she was okay, she said she wasn’t feeling fine, the next morning she requested if she can go back to her mother’s place to pick her medical documents. I agreed but deep down I knew she was lying she was going to get some more drugs for the day. I accepted and gave her transport to go but I made sure I didn’t give her any extra penny. I expected her to come back that same day, as she moved out I called her mum to update her on the current situation but she almost cried asking me why I had let her go because she knew she wasn’t going to reach her place but I knew she would eventually come around.

As it was coming to 8:00PM I called her and asked what time she was expecting to reach home to my surprise she told me she didn’t have transport back to my home and that I should send her money. This time I got angry and told her she should find ways of coming back or else she shouldn’t ever try contacting me.

She came back in the middle of the night. Monday morning we prepared and headed to Butabika hospital we reached before her mother. Thank God Dorah saw her psychologist and decided to we go and say hi to her. Eventually her mother arrived and they prepared to admit her unknowingly, we walked her to the female ward and entered the gate where she was told for she wasn’t going to leave the premises. We helped her secure a bed but this place was another hell all dirty two persons shared a bed while some lay their mattresses under the beds for those who had gotten a chance to get them. I started tearing because I could believe I was leaving my partner in such a place with no difference from where I had picked her.

Her mother went back on Wednesday as it was the scheduled day for visits to her surprise, Dorah had run off. When I got the news, I felt sick, I felt like my soul had left my body. I called her on the number she had previously contacted me with the 1st time she was looking for me, she told me she had left the city because I had betrayed her by taking her to Butabika Hospital where mad people are admitted she hang-up. I told her mother that she had communicated we decided to wait until when she felt she needed help.

Two weeks later she appeared at her mother’s gate all wasted and dirty we took her to a private institution where she was admitted this time I left with my heart at peace. The security was tipped so they had an extra eye on her. This time she stayed and received treatment till she was better.

A few months later I started noticing changes in her. I sat her down and openly told her I knew she was slowly relapsing I assured her I was determined to leave her this time if she doesn’t stop doing drugs. She tried to play the victim card claiming that she had resorted to drugs because I was cheating on her!

At that point I decided to move on because clearly she wasn’t ready to change. While researching drug abuse to find ways to help her I had learned that unless the person is willing to change by themselves, no amount of help can make them change and defer from drugs. I decided to move on with someone else since he was my friend and already knew where I was coming from. We’ve been dating for three years now. Dorah calls me once in a while usually to insult me, I pray that one day she recovers and finds peace.

Drug addiction is a deadly disease and nobody should ever go through it. There should be more sensitization on drug abuse, more support for those who are struggling with drug abuse and free treatment for those who are ready to stop drug abuse.