This One Way Road that is a Soul Healer!

brokenShe stared deep into the depth of my eyes; her gaze penetrating my eye lids like the UV light: her gape unusual!  I heard her breath underneath my pinna, the strength in her whisper hit my breaking point: her sound was unfamiliar!

She pulled me by my collar, I obliged; I panted, the force was not for the often!                                                                                                          I was expected to keep the stud; I am, even when the walls of my strength were crumbling. I sighed; remembering, the last time I sighed- the final play, when she let me feel the warmth of her thighs, she sighed to the rhythm of my tongue; I chillingly smiled at the sight of a woman’s body exude it’s cum; I sighed!

“You know he is better than you”, she said as she released me from her arrest.  I was unable to refresh my memories but I knew she was gone; I was lucky she didn’t throw it straight at my face; “it’s over”.

“I am not going to beg you to stay, if you leave I will replace you, if you stay, I will embrace you, but if you don’t show that you care, I won’t chase you,” I lied as I showed her my back. Deep down in my heart, I knew I was begging; down to my knees, I was pleading but how would I have showed it? I needed not to lose my ego to a woman who found a partner better than I am.

I lost way to my tear glands; they faithfully embraced my agony and blessed my eyes with the cleansing oil. At least my glands never left me lonely. I still sighed; days passed but my heart didn’t seem to get in touch with the healing effect of the 24 hours of time, it still didn’t pick its pieces.

Not so far but no so near too, nature beautified the earth with a cool, green shelter. Birds didn’t find trouble hosting their homes to this shelter; this large tree near a smooth flowing stream is beautifully made into a house with its spreading branches. Its sub branches host numerous nests; birds sing charming melodies all day and night.                        I unconsciously led my legs to this rather lonely but beautiful scenery. The roads to this place are one way; as I came closer to the “home of the lonely”, I saw a car go through the exit route. I didn’t want to bother my eyes with the details of its interior since my concentration was laid straight to nursing my broken heart.

To my new home I sat and joined the birds to this melody:

I love you princess, with all myself, I love you

Yet I can’t fight for you

I wish you all the best,

That’s why I let you be with him,

Who’s is better than me

I know I will get there,

I will always welcome you back;

Back to my heart where your home is!

We sang till the birds longed for refreshment, they ran to the stream to wet their throats as I wet my eyes with more lubricant. “Those are enough tears for the day,” I scolded myself as I too took the exit.

The pain didn’t lessen but the burden reduced a little, I had found my new companions; the melodies of the birds still echoed to my ears yet the scene of our break up still felt virgin-real to my mind. The night came to morning!

As I went back to the healing place to fix a working dose for the day, I still saw car leaving as I entered: I hastily walked towards “my home”, so as to glance through the car’s interior but I couldn’t, I was too weak to take longer strides.

On my place, I found a note:

Dear God, I miss her

I dropped her for him, but I am regretting already

The pregnancy, I am carrying wont result into a child I love to see

I wish this child could have just one piece of a look that resembles her

God, you know I was lied to, I need her more than before

I wish she could see me cry her

As I finished throwing my sympasies to the writer, the birds started our song. They reminded me of my own pain to nurse before nursing other people’s pain. To the nursing bed I lay, to acquire enough prescription for the day. We sang beautifully to our rhythm and yes I got the strength to run ahead. My birds, my new companions, their home, my new shelter, their melodies, my source of strength!

I felt stronger as I left but missed my new home the more. I decided to increase the dosage to twice a day. I went back to meet my companions that evening. As I slopped down, I saw the car leading through the entrance road. It briefly stopped at the place I call home.   She walked out of the white car with white pieces of cloth wrapped around a newly born baby. The cries of the baby sounded louder than the melodies of my friends.

I could inhale the scent  of her cologne, I knew she was the woman I was crying for but she wouldn’t listen; she left me for a richer man, a man who would not only  throw her body to happiness but also enable her express her genes. As I drew closer, the car exited. We didn’t meet, not even  eye contact.

Dear princess, congratulations upon your new born baby

I am proud of you

I know it’s the most beautiful thing the world has ever had

I wish I could carry it in my arms and peck its cheeks

I know you are the happiest woman on earth

I smoothed my throat to singing this song with my companions but my strength was worn out. I just let my lubricant flow, down my cheeks, I nodded my head heavily but I didn’t have a solution.                                                                 Besides me, was a white piece of white cloth, she had left, I used it to drain my tears.   “Do I carry this cloth, filled with her fragrance home or do I let it stay, for her to smell my tears?” I contemplated. The roads leading and leaving the place kept our faces distant but our hearts closest; the birds sang to our union and the stream refreshed our veins. She drove away as I walked in, yet she needed me much more than I could imagine.

Till I held our baby into my arms, I still missed meeting her; true love never fails. We knew we were running away from the obvious; we were meant for each other.