The Odyssey of Desire is a series of online conversations and explorations intended to lead us on a journey through the depth and breadth of our desires, in all their complex glory. Adventures (from the bedrooms of African women), an online platform where African women share their intimate experiences as told by us for ourselves is the one behind organising this series.
The Odyssey of Desire will tomorrow 29th August 2020 hold a live Twitter conversation featuring HER Internet’s Sandra Kwikiriza. The live chat will candidly address all things sexting, sex tapes and nudes and nothing will be off limits.
We caught up with Sandra who gave us further insight into this rather exciting conversation.
More information on this can be got at;
https://adventuresfrom.com/2020/07/15/announcing-adventureslive2020-the-odyssey-of-desire.html
KT: Let's start with an introduction; Who are you? What do you do? What are you passionate about?
SK: I am Sandra Kwikiriza, a queer feminist with a passion to contribute to change at the individual and collective level for womxn. I currently work with HER Internet, an organization that advocates for the digital rights and internet freedoms for womxn with a focus on LBQ womxn and female sex workers.
KT: Why do you think we shy away from this conversation on sexting, sextapes and nudes yet most of us indulge in it?
SK: Discussing sex is shied away from here, I guess because of the religious and cultural undertones that relegate the topic to be private. As such, even when technology has evolved to enable relationships to thrive online, and we have also accepted that keeping in touch with your loved one via messaging apps is part of us, we still are hesitant to talk about sexting, sharing nudes and sextapes.
There’s also the risk of this content leaking to the public, the slut-shaming and body shaming that one who takes nude pictures of themselves or films a sexual activity faces as a result might all contribute to why we don’t openly talk about it though it is a part of the relationship scene.
KT: Why is this conversation so critical now? What can you hope to achieve through it?
SK: This conversation is very critical because the total lockdown period was un-anticipated on so many levels and most of us kept in touch with people online. This means that sexting became more common, as well as sharing nudes via the different messaging platforms.
It is important for people to know that you can actually share nudes safely, ensure that the sexts and sextapes are upholding the privacy of all parties involved.
KT: What can we, as a generation, do different to ensure that these conversations are normalised?
SK: Social media is everywhere and it seems like everyday there’s a new app to chat. The thing about our generation’s mistakes is that they are published for all the world to see and written in digital ink and you can never know when they will be used against you.
However, the Internet is equal parts opportunities and a minefield but we don’t have the luxury of saying we didn't know. There are resources online that are available at the tap of a button. There are people with knowledge on particular subjects whose social media pages are full of insights. We therefore have to take advantage of the fact that we have vast resources, courtesy of the internet, on whichever topic of interest one has.
KT: What would be the benefits of having open and candid conversations about sex especially online while carefully treading the line between morality, honesty and safety?
SK: First of all, womxn would have more enjoyable sex because having open and candid conversations about sex means getting away from the tired heteronormative performances of intimacy.
Mostly though, we would have more agency as womxn to not only be confident in our sexuality and sensuality, but also call out cases of sexual violence of any nature with the urgency and seriousness it requires without re-traumatizing victims or invalidating their experiences.
